By Tanmaya George and Grace Hui for Incentre
What is attachment?
Attachment is a theme that comes up again and again throughout our lives, and is something we tend to notice more when on the spiritual path. Attachment can come in many forms – be it labels, ideologies, thought and behaviour patterns, people, particular outcomes and much more.
Attachment is human tendency - a life without attachments would surely be lonely, but at the same time inordinate attachments creates suffering. Our many faceted emotions, complex feelings, consciousness and web of thoughts are all attributes that make humanity great and fragile in the same vein, and encourage us to form attachments to those around us.
With our capacity to love, to imagine and to create, it is so important for us to understand the splendour of our very existence so that we can fully embody our true essence, and create peace on earth - or shamballa; the mission of the Modern Mystery School.
In the density of the world as we know it, it is easy to get side-tracked, distracted and confused, forming bad habits and cycles of negative emotions. We love, we hate, we experience physical pain, get angry or sad, we get happy... the list of feelings and emotions go on. Our emotions and feelings move and change with time, but somehow there is a tendency to live as if our feelings and emotions define us, causing us to get attached to things, people, situations, thought patterns and the like, without realising that attachments are not love.
Oftentimes, attachments are also insidious, and hinder our spiritual growth.
How do we recognise attachment?
There is a simple test to identify if we are attached to something - this same type of test could be done for spiritual attachments or attachments in the physical realm:
Ask yourself; am I willing to let go of this habit, this thought pattern, this belief system, this person, this relationship, even temporarily?
And set a time: e.g. for 3 months. Tell yourself that you are able to pick the habit, thought pattern, belief system up again after this period of time.
The level of resistance you feel to making that temporary adjustment will be a good indicator of your level of attachment.
How can attachment impede our spiritual progression?
Attachment can often be confused for love - in some ways there are similarities in how both of these manifest. The intentions and the results of these expressions are however very different.
When one is “attached”, one has preconceived expectations of an outcome – so much so that if that outcome does not materialise, our inner peace can be affected. We may find ourselves overwhelmed with disappointment, unable to move forward. Sometimes, we blame others, or those we had those expectations of, and get immensely hurt as a result.
The hurt could fester if undealt with, leading to a whole host of other issues in our future attachments as well as in our general lives.
We could also be deeply attached to how we see ourselves or how we wish others to see us, which may encourage us to do certain things in order to keep that label alive and end up feeling resentful if others do not perceive our actions the same way. We could also feel resentful at having to take such actions just to keep the “image” of ourselves alive because we never wanted to have to do this in the first place.
For instance, one example of this could be that most individuals within our society have been programmed to be “nice”. But what does “nice” actually mean? We run around doing things for people thinking that we are being “nice” - but, are we?
“Nice” often just means inoffensive, so someone would think we are “nice” because we haven't said or done anything that has hurt or triggered them. But have we actually done “good” by them?
Sometimes, the tasks or dramas that we have taken on were never for us to take on, and so by doing them to be “nice” we may have inadvertently slowed down the progression of another.
The reason we may have done this is because we didn't want our peers or the other person involved to “not like us”. But has this attachment to niceness or 'being nice' actually served anyone? Not us; because we never wanted to do it in the first place, and certainly not the other person because it was something that they needed to do for themselves.
Doing real good can at times be offensive and confronting while being “nice” can be the real evil, yet these two terms have become blurred as a result of our attachment to image and being liked. Sometimes, being nice and being good can be complementary, while at other times not.
Letting go of attachments
To make the right choices (particularly when navigating releasing attachments, whether to the external world or the spiritual world), we have to exercise discernment; something that can only come by truly knowing ourselves and letting go of attachment.
Sometimes, we also develop an attachment or emotional bond to a particular status quo or title – to a career, to a lifestyle etc. Things are comfortable and we expend inordinate amounts of time and energy to maintain things as they are, even though it goes against nature - which is never static.
It is an immutable fact that things are constantly changing; nothing ever stays still as energy is always moving. So, when attachments happen to the status quo or a specific place you are in this could cause us to be fighting a losing battle against the very fabric of nature. We will then find ourselves exhausted, having spent all our time and energy fighting the inevitable. Would the energy not have been better spent in the present moment; accepting change, recognising what it is about the change that triggered us, and healing from what is causing us to fear the change?
Of course, shedding our attachments is much easier said than done, and it will take time, dedication and practice to get less attached. However, with a good awareness and understanding of what attachments are, followed by working on changing through action and thought process, these things will reap rewards for all of humanity.
Often the attachments we develop are a form of survival or a coping mechanism, a way of staying safe. However, once we face the underlying fear and move through or past it, we realise that on the other side is freedom to express ourselves and live life more in alignment with who we are.
What does acceptance mean in attachments?
Love stems from acceptance – acceptance of the self and acceptance of others. To some, the idea of “acceptance” may seem to have a defeatist ring to it. However, that again stems from a misunderstanding of what acceptance truly means.
Acceptance comes from truly knowing ourselves. When we truly know ourselves, we understand that we are much more than the relationships in our lives, created things such as the possessions that we own, or the things that happen to us. Our soul and divine self is eternal.
As the founder of the Modern Mystery School, Founder Gudni, often says : “We have never been born, therefore we can never die.” If we embodied the eternity of our divine being, there would be no need to control so much.
After all, “this too shall pass”. Our time on earth is but an experience. Be prepared to experience joy in the present and to let go so as to make way for new experiences. When we truly know ourselves and have achieved inner peace, we also understand that what works for someone else may not be what works for us, and that is perfectly OK! We are individuals, each with a unique purpose. If we knew ourselves, we would understand that purpose and see that there is no need to control or compare.
Attachments are borne out of not knowing ourselves and thereby deluding ourselves into believing that these “attachments” keep us sane or safe.
On the path of knowing thyself, we will realise that no situation and no person is ever perfect. Ipsissimus Dave Lanyon of the Modern Mystery School often says that our only perfection comes when we are trying to be perfect. There is no need to be wedded to a particular outcome because no one and nothing will ever be perfect; what is important is that we learn and progress. If we accept this fundamental truth, then we will realise that it is our desire to control things that keep us stuck.
I am not suggesting that we don't plan or be prepared. To be worthy of receiving that which we truly desire, we have to be dedicated, devoted, and prepared. We have to do the work. But we can do all of these things without getting blindsided by the need to control others or the situations; remember, we can only control how we show up for things. We cannot take away the free will of others and expect long-lasting good results. Often, it is not even possible. We can be the master of our own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions based on knowing ourselves, accepting ourselves, and taking ownership of our own healing and progression. That is what makes us worthy of what it is we truly desire and it is also what gives us clarity and an understanding of what it is we truly want.
Attachment and control often distract us from that inner knowing and wisdom because it tricks us into thinking that the answers lie outside - when in reality, the answers were always within us. As the hermetic saying so profoundly and powerfully says: “'As above, so below, as within, so without”
How is attachment different from love?
When we truly love something, we love it in a way that the person or the thing is free. We accept that just like us, the other has free will and is also on a journey of their own. We care but we also maintain healthy boundaries, respecting the agency of all parties involved.
The less attached we are, the greater the capacity to truly love we have.
With authentic love there is no manipulation, unlike in attachment where we may consciously or subconsciously create drama so as to hopefully get a specific outcome, which may or may not serve ourselves or the other person.
Bad habits like this cause suffering for each person involved; understanding this and taking steps to become less attached, develop further spiritual growth and dealing with our fear of living without attachment will help us to avoid this sense of hurt.
Often, attachment can lead to a zero sum game disguised as love, and until we truly know ourselves we would not have the clarity to see this. In this way, our attachment causes harm to ourselves and others; to ourselves because we are lying to ourselves and to others because we are not respecting their free will.
Let me provide an example. Say we are in a romantic partnership - in a situation like this, attachment and love can become confused. Because we are in love, we miss each other and want to see each other often. However, it can also reveal a side of us that fears being alone, or codependency. This could (if we didn't 'own our own shit', so to speak) lead us to guilt trip our partner into cancelling meetups with friends because we didn't want to be alone.
Of course, we tell ourselves and others that it is because we miss them. But is this really true? Or is there some grey area that we are unwilling to see or deal with? Is our attachment to our fear of being alone leading us to manipulate “love”? Are we confusing love for attachment?
If we are in a relationship with healthy boundaries, we are able to differentiate missing someone from needing them to be there. We can be comfortable with them and even be happy that they are out having a great time, without it being about us. Love in its purest form is about acceptance of ourselves and of the other. But first we need to develop self-knowledge and acceptance.
A life without attachment is a life of freedom
As long as we feel the need to control something, or the need for something to be a certain way before we can be happy, then we are not really free to be masters of our own destiny, because we cannot control the free will of others.
The ability to live your life alive and in total freedom can only come from truly knowing yourself, which is the goal when starting on any spiritual path.
What you wish to see externalised in the world has first got to come from within. A refusal to accept this truth and attachments there will ensure we are always stuck.
The Path
Life Activation
In the Modern Mystery School, the path of progression is laid out for any who wish to progress.
It starts with an initial spiritual practice class called a “Life Activation”. The Life Activation is a sacred ceremony which activates dormant DNA. Once activated, it reconnects us to our divine blueprint giving us greater clarity, bringing light into our structure to illuminate the parts of us that need healing and release.
Empower Thyself and Initiation classes
After the Life Activation, comes the Empower Thyself Class and Initiation for those who wish to seek it.
This is a two day class that hands down ancient rituals for your toolkit. These ancient tools, passed down in an oral format, in an unbroken tradition for thousands of years, empower us to work with our own energy field, strengthening it, giving us a stronger sense of self. The initiation cuts through the veil of illusion and helps us to see through our own misconceptions and lies, helping us to enter the transforming union of the infinite divine beauty.
Self empowerment and knowing yourself does not always feel comfortable. It requires you to stretch and grow. It necessitates looking at past pains and facing up to past triggers in order to acknowledge, heal and release from them.
With each hurdle, we then get to know ourselves better - and with that we learn to control and master our feelings so that we can release emotions without becoming enslaved by them.
It is in walking a path and being dedicated to it that we can truly know ourselves and enjoy the fruits of living life alive and free. We can love without fear, release pain without suffering and truly create peace on earth, which is our divine birthright!
Working with and understanding Ancient Sacred Geometry Symbols for healing and protection
Dealing with pain and ego on the spiritual path
