By Grace Hui for Incentre

In this day and age, it has become fashionable to talk about being “authentic” or to be “true to yourself”. While we may all loosely understand what these terms and phrases kind of mean, are we really all on the same page? Have some of the original meanings behind these words become confused and diluted?

I think we can all agree that to be “authentic” and “real”, we shouldn’t pretend to be what we are not. A universal example of that is perhaps not to pretend that we have a perfect life and to acknowledge that everyone has struggles and problems. With social media, it can be tempting to present a curated version of one’s life which has no bearing on reality. In turn, this creates distortion, potential jealousy or envy and undue pressure to “keep up with the Jones”.

On the flip side of this, is to get sucked into the drama of problems and chaos presented by others who might be rebelling against the idea of perfection. Have you noticed that posts that create outrage, spark emotions and wallow in patterns of behaviour get a lot of traction? Some of these posts have been presented as “authentic” but are in reality, enforcing a pattern of behaviour that encourages us to be stuck in the drama of the situation.

Is this more about being attached to the drama of apparent authenticity than genuine authenticity?

By Grace Hui for Incentre

To be a leader is to serve. It is to be the last person to sleep and the first person to show up. It is the person who will make the difficult decisions because it is for the highest good. It is the person who will instil rules for the safety of all and also the person to exercise mercy.

The shadow of leadership has come to dominate leadership in some circles where people confuse leadership for fear or where leadership is confused by division or control.

In reality however, ruling through fear and division or in tyranny will never bring lasting results. In fact, it will destroy the cause. The person who acts in this manner destroys the cause.

Leadership in its purest form is a leader who acts by example, who unifies and who eradicates separation. It is also a leader who is authentic and not a hypocrite.

This applies in our individual lives too. Do we have separations within the self? Are we living in a way that does not gel with who we really are? Are we the leaders in our own lives or are we merely following someone else’s?

By Grace Hui for Incentre

As with anything, there is duality. Something can be at once good and bad. It all just depends on how we choose to look at it and what actions we choose to take from it.

There is nothing inherently bad or good about being vulnerable. It is but an opportunity - a chance to do something with it.

If we avoid ever being vulnerable, we will never get to know ourselves and, if we don’t know ourselves, then we will never really be empowered or free. We will always be swayed by what happens to us and our happiness will always be dependent on things we cannot control. If we knew ourselves, we will be able to cultivate the stillness that brings about a state of joy. The external is but a reflection of our inner states.

As within so without, as above so below.

If we embraced vulnerability but never take ownership for healing from what has caused it in the first place, then we remain as we are, aware of our wounds but unable to move past it. So while allowing is an important first step, we cannot stop there if we wish to truly live freely.

The true nugget of expansion comes from viewing vulnerability as a gift to knowing ourselves, sitting with it to give it the space it needs and then taking the actions needed for us to heal from it.

By Grace Hui for Incentre

It is probably fair to say that most of us want to feel that we are in control of our lives and the direction it is going. We want to feel in charge - the notion of having power over the situations and occurrences in our lives can give us a sense of false security.

However, is the idea of having power often an illusion? Are we confusing power for empowerment?

What is the difference?

By Grace Hui for Incentre

In the mystery school traditions, we are trained to consistently seek to know thyselves and our “triggers” are perfect providers of information about ourselves. When faced with a “trigger”, we are given the opportunity to dig deeper. We are presented with the chance to heal and overcome.

If we spend all our time identifying things we should avoid, we will never really grow. We will just be running away from ourselves. A process that does us a great disservice. After all, how can we become the best versions of who we truly are if we invest no time in getting to know ourselves?

When we truly know ourselves, we will know our divine purposes, and facing up to our “triggers” is extremely illuminating for that process. There can be no breakthrough without mastery.

Every time a “trigger” presents itself, it is an invitation to surmount. Joy comes from true freedom and true freedom can only be availed to those who have mastered their “triggers”. Think about it. If you are constantly trying to escape what makes you uncomfortable, are you really free?

By Grace Hui for Incentre

Finding empowerment and equality for women are very much hot topics for the day. Social media is daily set alight with pithy quotes, quick slogans, and memes about the concepts of self-empowerment and the power of women. While there is value in these messages, they are sometimes incomplete and could lead to confusion.

There is no doubt that these are important issues. Everyone wants to and should be empowered. Divine feminine energy should also be nourished and nurtured. However, somewhere between seeking empowerment and giving prominence to so-called “girl power”, have the genuine meanings of empowerment and the divine feminine become somewhat corrupted?

New Year Resolutions
Resolutions represent hope. The hope that if we make some creative changes to our daily habits, life will be lighter, happier, more abundant. And – why not? It’s a great idea to step across the portal of the new year with an intention for new beginnings. Yet, a long two years have passed since my resolution lists have been drawn with any confidence. I don't know about you, but this new year I am again tiptoeing tentatively across the finish line. Don't get me wrong I still have an inventory of hopes: eating less, moving more, learning new skills, quitting bad habits and making more money. But this new year it’s with a different approach. I’m going to the core.

"It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change."
Charles Darwin

By Grace Hui for Incentre

In order to avoid self-sabotage, we first have to recognise the difference between the temporary fear of discomfort from something that is genuinely bad for us. To be able to differentiate between the two, we need to cut through the density of mind chatter to access our higher minds. This can only be done if we are truly empowered to really know ourselves.

It is only with overcoming resistance and loving ourselves enough to show up that we can grow and soar to greater heights. It is only with breaking through the pain barrier can we emerge from our shadows to be the best versions of ourselves.

By Grace Hui for Incentre

Sometimes, healers and lightworkers may get into a loop believing that if they are entrusted to heal others, that they must be at a perfect stage in life. But, is this really possible or even sustainable? To ask ourselves a further question, can we really help others heal if we cannot recognise our own need for healing and to heal ourselves?

There is no shame in falling apart or making mistakes. Most healers are healers precisely because they have gone through trauma themselves and wish to help others who are suffering. So, if it is your experience of your past traumas that led to your desire to serve, why run away from other traumas you may face? Perhaps, these new traumas will also lead to your greater service of others as you heal from it?

By Grace Hui for Incentre

Everything around us is made up of energy. This is not just true in the domain of spirituality but also proven by conventional science. We and indeed, other living beings, are continuously affected by vibrations around us.

This also means that we have the power to create the energy that we want around us. In other words, there is no need to fear negativity. Rather, we can feel empowered with the knowledge that we can change what does not nourish us when we are aware. From this awareness we can live with the understanding that everything is mutable, that energy can be transmuted.

Have you entered a space and immediately felt uplifted by it or, have you attended events and met people whose positivity was contagious and made you feel joyful? Have there been times where you have been in the presence of such peace and calm that the effects linger within and around you for hours or days to come?

Conversely, have you had encounters where the negativity of someone brings you down, or worse, drains you? Have you inhabited spaces which just didn’t feel quite right and had an adverse effect on you emotionally, mentally and even physically? This is not to say that others may have the conscious decision to harm you. They could just simply have formed a negative opinion about you which they have not released and have put on you.

Because of how psychic we all are we are more often than not, afraid of the judgments of others. For example, we may stay in a job we don’t like, dress in a certain way, drive a particular type of car, dine at a specific restaurant or reside within a given postcode, not because we actually want to, but because we want others not to judge us”. The energy we can invest in avoiding judgement tells us how uncomfortable it feels.

In the same vein, our positive thoughts about others and the loving energy that we send them also have an uplifting effect on them. It can also raise our own vibrations to be within this field of loving positivity. This explains why prayers and high vibration words are able to heal and comfort.

Our energies do overlap with that of others and we do have the ability to affect one another. When we are happy, we can make the people around us feel happy. When we emit serenity, we have the ability to influence our surroundings to similarly be an oasis of calm. On the reverse, if we do not check in with or look after our own emotional and spiritual wellbeing, we may project our own anger or frustration outward, negatively impacting those around us. This same principle works for everyone which means that we have the power to influence what we want around us.

We all have both darkness and light within us. If we don't acknowledge our dark sides and learn to bring light to illuminate our shadows, we can unconsciously put this on someone else. If we are not aware of our own energetic hygiene, we may not recognise that these negative energies, which are not from us, are taking over.

This does not have to be an inevitable occurrence in which we have no ability to control. Far from it - there are many ways we can protect our energy spaces. We also have to take ownership of what we put out there. As the Hermetic principle goes - as within so without, as above, so below.

By Grace Hui for Incentre

I first read this book when I was in law school 20 years ago. At that time, I enjoyed the lyrical style of Paulo Coelho. As each sentence flowed into the next, it read like a romantic and timeless song. The idea of a quest and a mission, as embarked upon by the tale’s protagonist, a shepherd boy, fired in me the idea of a life of purpose and adventure while the free spirit in me engaged with the idea of destiny.

The boy shepherd was never named - he was quite simply referred to as “the boy” or “the shepherd”. This anonymity gave me the promise that this mission was available and applicable to all. The idea of the “unknown” was tantalising to me.

However, beyond the physical excitement of a potential crusade into the unknown to pursue one’s destiny, I did not understand any further. The idea of destiny and free will also seemed to be contradictory concepts that evaded any deeper understanding on my part. While the book engaged me as I was reading it, its deeper meaning escaped me then. At the end of the book, I put it down as a book well written and never read it again for another two decades.

By Grace Hui for Incentre

Our desire to connect to something sacred is hardwired into our DNA. Although we may have forgotten our connection to the divine, it is still there, awaiting to be reawakened.

Our fixation with looking outwards comes chiefly from an imbalance between our physical and spiritual selves. In our modern life, where the ancient ways have been neglected, there appears to be no fixed point or centre. In other words, we have not made space for a pillar to the divine, living solely within the limitations of our minds and the constraints of our physicality.

The ability to create our own sacred spaces is our birthright. It first comes from inwardly acknowledging the sacred. From within it filters outwards to the spaces in which we inhabit. Instead of looking out to in, we need to look from in to out. We can rediscover the holy places of our private universe by surrendering ourselves to the power of the sacred.

By recognising our divinity and oneness with the universe, we can harness the regenerative power or energy that exists for both our personal use and for social regeneration. We can quite literally heal the world by beginning with the healing of ourselves and our personal spaces.

Indeed, many of the wise masters of old have studied the concept of creating space through the contemplation of divine proportion and geometric patterns which are fundamental to the creation and perpetuation of life in the universe.

These masters understood that we have the power to create the space we want. The space does not create us.

We only have to understand that we have mastery over space! Not vice versa.

As children, our natural state was to explore the world around us with delight and to express the feeling of wonder with unbridled amazement, without fear of judgement. We freely feel and reveal our emotions - be it joy, pain, disappointment, anger, excitement or frustration.

As we grow, society around us begins to shape us. Unconsciously, we learn to hide what we feel for fear that those feelings of vulnerability will be dismissed or worst still, be seen as a weakness. At times, we fear the power and intensity of our own feelings and suppress all that we deem negative.

Out of a desire to fit in, we start to repress ourselves from all that makes us truly human. By so doing, we lose our connection to our true selves and deny ourselves the very power that should be our birthright.

But how do we process and transcend those feelings if we do not first learn to acknowledge them within ourselves?

There is no mastery without awareness.

Oftentimes, hurts are inflicted on us and it is not our fault. We may be victims of circumstances or someone else’s actions. However, how we choose to navigate our way out of that quagmire is our responsibility.

Victim versus Victimhood

Being a victim is temporary while being in victimhood is a permanent narrative that is created.

One can be a victim of something without falling into victimhood. There is a difference.

Sometimes, after we fall victim to something, we become attached to the suffering that the event has caused, not realising that it is something we have the power and indeed the responsibility to shift.

This is not to say that we bury the pain or repress it. In fact, we don’t have to forget that the event happened at all. It’s simply the realisation that while pain is inevitable, suffering is not!

Pain might be the direct result of the event that caused us to hurt. If we allow it to move through us, it does pass. However, if we choose to let it define us, it becomes our all-consuming narrative. So much so that we carry the burden of endless suffering, forgetting that we have the power to shift this!

To transcend, we do not have to forget, we only have to realise that within each of us, we have the power to shift.

Nothing is immutable!